The Hooplaw-s of Physics
Part I: Columbus Spins
Many erroneous theories abound,
'Cause people say the world is round,
I find their facts empirical,
The Earth ain't round--it's spherical.
(If you think that's great here's one greater
It flattens out towards the equator!)
Part II: Newton Falls
As Isaac sat beneath a tree,
Dreaming of pornography,
An apple knocked him with a clunk.
Upsetting those high thoughts he'd thunk.
Dismissing his depravity
He set to work on gravity.
Part III: Franklin Flies
Poor Benjamin was pure heart-broke,
His gal went with some other bloke.
So sad was he that stormy night,
He tried a suicide by kite.
And so she'd know who caused this thing,
He tied her key upon the string.
And just when things got frightening,
Old Ben had harnessed lightening!
Part IV: Marie Glows
Young Madam Marie and her husband Pierre
Noticed something in pitchblende that shouldn't be there.
The Uranium ore had something else in its brew,
And so they found Radium (and Polonium too)!
It was quite the achievement and no small surprise,
She became the first woman to win the great Nobel Prize.
And if you think she quit there then you don't know Our Hen,
Less than one decade later she won the damn thing again!
Part V: Albert Ponders
Before hatching any notions that would form his masterwork,
Einstein used to judge inventions in his role as patent clerk,
Then one day it struck him that there are very few absolutes,
Even universal forces have relative attributes,
That helped launch his “miracle year,” he subsequently declared,
Then almost as an afterthought claimed “E equals MC squared.”
All Things Bio-Logical
Part I: Charlie Churns
Good Mr. Darwin after much introspection,
Decided that creatures survive through selection.
Where the fittest prevail through the direst of straits,
Allowing their offspring to retain those good traits.
And just when the gene pool seems thoroughly tapped,
Mutations pop up to help species adapt.