Death House Press

Limerick Land

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I once knew a fellow named Tom, 
Whose shlong was blown off by a bomb, 
After that painful amputation, 
He had a sex change operation, 
And now he looks just like his Mom.

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I once knew a hottie named Laura, 
Whose muff was as soft as Angora, 
She had a South Sea Island map, 
Tatooed, in full, across her lap, 
Which is why I loved to visit Bora Bora.

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I once knew a loner named Shawn, 
Who liked to have sex with a fawn, 
Then one sad day, 
His little deer ran away, 
And left him to whack off on the lawn.

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I once knew a girl named Colleen, 
Who kept herself incredibly clean, 
She loved to scrub, 
Her hot, southern shrub, 
Till it was as big as the Grand Canyon ravine. 

 

G. Bennett Ulrich

1991