if it can be called that,
that lives under my bed
tries very hard, I’m sure,
but I just must have very high standards for fright, I guess.
I mean, if it thinks that suggesting the whole world is out to get me
is a new idea--please!
Or that pain and death were any kind of threat
when I'm a glutton for punishment
who loves hanging out in cemeteries!
Who’s in charge of assigning monsters to beds around here anyway?
Honestly, it's like you don't know me at all!
If you really want to frighten me,
then tell me you’re not going to get rid of it
and I'll go mad from boredom!!