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Damn You, Chewing Gum

There’s definitely something fascinating about fire.

Different materials burn at different rates. 

Some you have to be very patient with--like the edge of a toilet seat or the silver backing of a mirror.


While others ignite surprisingly fast, such as chewing gum, which bubbles and drips flaming goo if you’re not prepared.

Which wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t the same day I chose to reorganize my matchbook collection and refill my kerosine lamps.

Luckily the kegs of gunpowder weren’t due to arrive until the following day, or so I thought.

Turns out I'd spent the entire day thinking it was Tuesday, when it was really Wednesday the whole time.

Which also meant that I just missed fish tank cleaning day.

Leaving me with a dilemma.

Break all the tanks and douse the fire, or leave them alone and blow us all up?

Because if I break the tanks to save myself, then all my fish will die, leaving me to live with the guilt of knowing I’m only alive because I killed my pets.

But if I don’t break the tanks then the fire will destroy us all, because I just had to know if chewing gum would burn.

Well, guess what? It does.

So, damn you, chewing gum. Damn you.

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