Augmentation Operation

I'll be hung for Christmas,
My doctor told me so,
he said "You'll be hung for Christmas" just--
Like the mistletoe.

Girls will want to kiss it,
Once or maybe more,
'Cause I'll be hung for Christmas like--
A wreath upon the door.

Augmentation Operation,
making small things grand,
I have wanted growth down there--
since first it met my hand

I'll be hung for Christmas,
Heavy, long and thick,
Yes, I'll be hung for Christmas like--
Stockings for Saint Nick.

So if you want enlargement,
listen to my plea,
have a surgeon do it right or--
you'll have to sit to pee.

G. Bennett Ulrich

1998

Death House Press