Death House Press

Augmentation Operation

​

 I'll be hung for Christmas, 
 My doctor told me so, 
 he said "You'll be hung for Christmas" just-- 
 Like the mistletoe.

​

 Girls will want to kiss it, 
 Once or maybe more, 
 'Cause I'll be hung for Christmas like-- 
 A wreath upon the door.

​

 Augmentation Operation, 
 making small things grand, 
 I have wanted growth down there-- 
 since first it met my hand

​

 I'll be hung for Christmas, 
 Heavy, long and thick, 
 Yes, I'll be hung for Christmas like-- 
 Stockings for Saint Nick.

​

 So if you want enlargement, 
 listen to my plea, 
 have a surgeon do it right or-- 
 you'll have to sit to pee.

​

G. Bennett Ulrich 

1998