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Augmentation Operation

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 I'll be hung for Christmas, 
 My doctor told me so, 
 he said "You'll be hung for Christmas" just-- 
 Like the mistletoe.

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 Girls will want to kiss it, 
 Once or maybe more, 
 'Cause I'll be hung for Christmas like-- 
 A wreath upon the door.

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 Augmentation Operation, 
 making small things grand, 
 I have wanted growth down there-- 
 since first it met my hand

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 I'll be hung for Christmas, 
 Heavy, long and thick, 
 Yes, I'll be hung for Christmas like-- 
 Stockings for Saint Nick.

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 So if you want enlargement, 
 listen to my plea, 
 have a surgeon do it right or-- 
 you'll have to sit to pee.

​

G. Bennett Ulrich 

1998

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